Sunday, September 30, 2012

Useful Phrases at Work

  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
  • At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
  • How about never? Is never good for you?
  • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  • I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  • I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  • I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  • I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
  • I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
  • It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
  • It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  • My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
  • No, my powers can only be used for good.
  • Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
  • Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
  • Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  • You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication


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