Psychiatric Hotline

"Hello. Welcome to the PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE.

• OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE, please press 1 -- repeatedly.
• CO-DEPENDENT, please have someone press 2 for you!
• MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
• PARANOID-DELUSIONAL we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call. We'll come and get you!
• SCHIZOPHRENIC, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
• PSYCHOTIC, stab button 8. It deserves it.
• ANOREXIC, press 9. If the line is busy, have a little snack while you wait.