Murphey's Work Laws

• A pat on the back is not that far away from a kick in the pants.
• Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
• Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
• Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
• If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
• If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
• Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
• Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.
• Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
• No one gets sick on Wednesdays.
• People are always available for work in the past tense.
• Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.
• The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.
• The longer the title, the less important the job
• The more you put up with, the more you are going to get.
• There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.
• To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.
• When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
• When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
• You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
• You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.