Useful Phrases at Work

• Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
• At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
• How about never? Is never good for you?
• I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
• I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
• I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
• I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
• I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
• I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
• I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
• It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
• It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
• My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
• No, my powers can only be used for good.
• Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
• Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
• The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
• Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
• You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
• You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication

Murphey's Work Laws

• A pat on the back is not that far away from a kick in the pants.
• Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
• Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
• Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
• If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
• If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
• Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
• Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.
• Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
• No one gets sick on Wednesdays.
• People are always available for work in the past tense.
• Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.
• The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.
• The longer the title, the less important the job
• The more you put up with, the more you are going to get.
• There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.
• To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.
• When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
• When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
• You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
• You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.

Corporate Speak Explained

• CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:  We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up-well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
• COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
• DUTIES WILL VARY:  Anyone in the office can boss you around.
• GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:  Management communicates, and you figure out what they want and do.
• I AM ADAPTABLE:  I’ve changed jobs a lot.
• I AM EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I’ve used Microsoft Office.
• I AM EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:  I carry a Day-Timer.
• I AM HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.
• I AM PERSONABLE:  I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co- workers.
• I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:  I blame others for my mistakes.
• JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:  We have no time to train you.
• MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:  You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
• MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:  We have no quality control.
• MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:  I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.
• PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:  You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
• REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:  You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
• SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:  Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Opposite Advice - Which one is right?

• A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. :: A man's reach should exceed his grasp.
• A good beginning makes a good ending. :: It's not over till it's over.
• Ask no questions and hear no lies. :: Ask and you shall receive.
• Birds of a feather flock together.  :: Opposites attract.
• Clothes make the man. :: Never judge a book by its cover.
• Dig the well before you are thirsty. :: Don't cross the bridge till you come to it.
• Don't change horses in midstream. :: Variety is the spice of life.
• Don't cross the bridge till you come to it. :: Forewarned is forearmed.
• Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom. :: Faith will move mountains.
• He who hesitates is lost. :: Look before you leap.
• If at first you don't succeed, try try again. :: Don't beat a dead horse.
• If you lie down with auditors, you'll get up with recommendations. :: If you can't beat'em join'em.
• Practice makes perfect. :: All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.
• Silence is golden. :: The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
• The best things come in small packages. :: The bigger, the better.
• The pen is mightier than the sword.  :: Actions speak louder than words.
• There's safety in numbers. :: Better be alone than in bad company.
• Too many cooks spoil the broth. :: Many hands make light work.
• Too many cooks spoil the broth. :: Two heads are better than one.
• You're never too old to learn. :: You can't teach old dog new tricks. 

Common Confusing Contradictions

• How come price and worth mean the same thing, but priceless and worthless are opposites.
• If you try to fail and succeed, which one have you done?
• Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
• If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
• Why is the word abbreviation so long?
• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
• If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
• Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• Why do we call a bad thing aweful while a good thing is awesome?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
• If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
• Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
• Why is the time of the day with the slowest traffic called the rush hour?
• Why is lipstick so called, when you can still move your lips?

PEST Market Analysis - Technological

• Associated/dependent technologies
• Competing technology development
• Consumer buying mechanisms/technology
• Global communications
• Information and communications
• Innovation potential
• Intellectual property issues
• Manufacturing maturity and capacity
• Maturity of technology
• Replacement technology/solutions
• Research funding
• Technology access, licensing, patents
• Technology legislation

PEST Market Analysis - Social

• Advertising and publicity
• Brand, company, technology image
• Buying access and trends
• Consumer attitudes and opinions
• Consumer buying patterns
• Demographics
• Ethical issues
• Ethnic/religious factors
• Fashion and role models
• Law changes affecting social factors
• Lifestyle trends
• Major events and influences
• Media views

PEST Market Analysis - Economic

• Customer/end-user drivers
• General taxation issues
• Home economy situation and trends
• Interest and exchange rates
• International trade/monetary issues
• Market and trade cycles
• Market routes and distribution trends
• Overseas economies and trends
• Seasonality/weather issues
• Specific industry factors
• Taxation specific to product/services

PEST Market Analysis - Political

• Current legislation home market
• Ecological/environmental issues
• Funding, grants and initiatives
• Future legislation
• Government policies
• Government term and change
• Home market lobbying/pressure groups
• International legislation
• International pressure groups
• Regulatory bodies and processes
• Trading policies
• Wars and conflicts

SWOT - Threats

• Competitor intentions - various?
• Economy - home, abroad?
• Employment market?
• Environmental effects?
• Financial and credit pressures?
• Insurmountable weaknesses?
• IT developments?
• Legislative effects?
• Market demand?
• New technologies, services, ideas?
• Obstacles faced?

SWOT - Opportunities

• Business and product development?
• Competitors' vulnerabilities?
• Geographical, export, import?
• Global influences?
• Industry or lifestyle trends?
• Information and research?
• Major contracts, tenders?
• Market developments?
• Market need for new USP's?
• Market response to tactics, e.g., surprise?
• Market volume demand trends?
• New markets, vertical, horizontal?
• Niche target markets?
• Partnerships, agencies, distribution?
• Seasonal, weather, fashion influences?
• Technology development and innovation?

SWOT - Weaknesses

• Accreditations, etc?
• Cashflow, start-up cash-drain?
• Continuity, supply chain robustness?
• Disadvantages of proposition?
• Effects on core activities, distraction?
• Financials?
• Gaps in capabilities?
• Lack of competitive strength?
• Management cover, succession?
• Morale, commitment, leadership?
• Own known vulnerabilities?
• Processes and systems, etc?
• Reliability of data, plan predictability?
• Reputation, presence and reach?
• Timescales, deadlines and pressures?

SWOT - Strengths

• Accreditation, qualifications, certifications?
• Advantages of proposition?
• Capabilities?
• Competitive advantages?
• Cultural, attitudinal, behavioral?
• Experience, knowledge, data?
• Financial reserves, likely returns?
• Innovative aspects?
• Location and geographical?
• Management cover, succession?
• Marketing - reach, distribution, awareness?
• Price, value, quality?
• Processes, systems, IT, communications?
• Resources, Assets, People?
• USP's (unique selling points)?

Brainstorming Process

1.  Define and agree the objective.

2.  Brainstorm ideas and suggestions having agreed a time limit.

3.  Categorize/condense/combine/refine.

4.  Assess/analyze effects or results.

5.  Prioritize options/rank list as appropriate.

6.  Agree action and timescale.

7.  Control and monitor follow-up.

Fast Feeling of Fulfillment

1. Show respect and courtesy.

2. Listen more than you speak.

3. Give genuine praise.

4. Keep your promises.

5. Practice forgiveness.

Diversity Trumps Ability and Competence

Diverse thinking groups will outperform groups of those with high ability or competence.  This is counter-intuitive.

• Strengthen the prerequisites for positive use of diversity, making it part of the culture
• Value and celebrate diversity 
• Translate differences into uniqueness to leverage panorama of perspectives
• Help and facilitate differences to self-organize. 
• Find common ground to unify diversity.  
• Use Diversity to Add Value
• Connect differences to create synergy.
• Use diversity as a resource for resilience and adaptation. 
• Use differences to increase understanding of complex issues. 
• Work through differences to resolve conflict. 
• Highlight differences for broad social benefit. 

Great Movies for Geeks

• Cloak & Dagger (1984)
• Die Hard: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
• Hackers (1995)
• Revenge of the Nerds (1984)
• Swordfish (2001)
• The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969)
• The Last Starfighter (1984)
• The Net (1995)
• War Games (1983)
• Weird Science (1985)

Greatest Golfers

• Arnold Palmer
• Ben Hogan
• Bobby Jones
• Byron Nelson
• Gary Player
• Jack Nicklaus
• Sam Snead
• Tiger Woods
• Tom Watson
• Walter Hagen

Naming Processes

Avoid weak verbs, like process (unless process is broad and there is no better name for it).

The name should consist of a verb phrase followed by a noun phrase, as in "validate insurance coverage."

The name should end with a noun phrase that relates to the object that the verb is acting on, for example, determine tax bracket.

The verb phrase should highlight the goal of the process, rather than the method used to carry it out. For example, determine is better than calculate or look up.

Use a verb phrase with a single verb, such as adjudicate.

Acquire	Determine	Remove
Add	Identify	Report
Adjudicate	Maintain	Reject
Assess	Manage	Review
Calculate	Merge	Roll Back
Cancel	Modify	Select
Change	Obtain	Specify
Check	Plan	Submit
Conduct	Query	Update
Control	Record	Validate
Create	Receive	Verify
Delete	Request

ITIL Seven Rs of Change Management

Raised: Who submitted the change?

Reason: What is the reason for a change?

Return: What is the result of the change?

Risk: What are the risks associated with the change (positive and negative)?

Resources: What resources does it require?

Responsible: Who is responsible for the change (requirements analysis, construction, testing, and transition into production)?

Relationship: What relationships does this change have with other changes?

Tools for Determining Requirements

• Brainstorming sessions
• Cross-functional groups: All business functions involved in an end-to-end process
• Focus groups: All participants perform the same role
• Job shadowing
• One-on-one interviews
• Prototyping
• Research of existing artifacts
• Surveys
• Wiki for collaborative contributions

Business Analysis Tools

• Activity Diagram
• Block Diagram
• Business Process Diagram (BPD)
• Business Use Case
• Cause-and- Effect Diagrams
• Class Diagrams and Static Model
• Communication Diagram
• Context Diagram
• Data Flow Diagram
• Decision Table/Tree
• Entity Relationship Diagram (ERD) and Data Model
• The Five Whys
• Flowchart
• Functional Decomposition Chart
• FURPS+
• Object Diagram
• Pareto Analysis
• Requirements Attributes Table
• Requirements Traceability Matrix
• Role Map
• Root-Cause Analysis
• Sequence Diagram
• State Diagram[1]
• Structured Walkthroughs
• System Use Cases (and Diagrams)

Strategy and Governance

• The organization has a well-defined strategy.
• A documented strategy execution plan guides strategy execution efforts.
• Strategy is communicated clearly to those developing portfolio and program/project plans to ensure that those initiatives support the organization’s strategy.
• Portfolio, program, and project managers feel a sense of ownership about the organization’s strategy execution plans.
• Appropriate and effective processes are in place to monitor and manage risk.

Cross-Cultural Factors in Project Management

• Functional redundancy means the duplication or overlap of certain functions or activities.
• Political factors in international projects are a strong influence and are plagued with countless unknowns.
• The expatriate way of life refers to the habits and expectations of those parties who are transferred to a host country.
• Language and culture include the system of spoken, written, and other social forms of communication.
• Additional risk factors may include personal risks such as kidnapping, local epidemics, and faulty medical care. Terrorism and local insurgencies are also critical risk factors in some settings.
• Supply difficulties encompass all the contracting, procurement, and logistical challenges that must be faced on the project.
• Local laws and legislation affect the way much of business is done on international projects.

Project Culture Characteristics

Bureaucratic Culture	Project Management Culture
Departmental structure	Matrix structure
High staff level	Low staff level
High structure	Low structure
Little teamwork	More teamwork and team building
Many standard procedures	Few, new procedures
More homogenous teams	More heterogeneous teams
Ongoing	Limited life
People more interchangeable	People not interchangeable
Positional authority	Influence authority
Repeated processes and products	New process and product

Effective Project Portfolio Management Process

1. Collect current project portfolio information.
2. Collect goal, asset, and resource portfolio information.
3. Measurably link project, goal, asset, and resource portfolios and assess.
4. Determine if the project portfolio is balanced correctly.
5. Determine the organization’s project capacity.
6. Develop and gain consensus on prioritization criteria and perform initial prioritization.
7. Develop recommendations relative to improving the portfolio ROI.
8. Prepare for and facilitate the Governance Meeting.

Factors in Evaluating Project Mix

  

o    Supporting business while maximizing internal efficiency

o    Short term benefits and long-term strategic direction

o    How much research without affecting development

o    Use of resources, assets, and project budget

o    Source of Project Sponsorship, especially if outside IT

Project Portfolio Governance

Decision making, usually conducted by top management teams regarding:

• Criteria for project proposals
• Due dates for projects
• How many projects to activate and which projects to deactivate
• Investment in project management methodology and tools
• Priorities
• Project reviews, with approval for a project to proceed to the next stage or to kill the project, or approval or rejection of project improvement plans
• Resource allocation, including capital expenditure, people, and operating expense budget
• When to activate projects
• Which projects to approve or reject

 

Objectives of Project Portfolio Management

Choose the right project mix— choose those projects that will leverage precious resources to bring large, measurable value to the stakeholders.

Ensure the correct scope—  Align projects and content cross-functionally to ensure that the combined changes will result in measurable improvement in meeting organization goals. Many of today’s projects have technical scope relevant to a single, functional area, but lack the organization-wide policy, measurement, and content changes necessary to have a significant impact on organization goals.

Execute fast, in the correct sequence— overloaded organization with too many projects sees a dramatic increase in resource multitasking or sharing with a devastating slowdown in project flow. Project durations climb exponentially. Quick execution also demands that PPM effectively monitor project execution to ensure that out-of-control situations are speedily recognized and acted upon.

IT Portfolio Selection Decision Steps

1. Assess Alignment, Benefit, Cost, and Risk (ABCR) of Individual Projects

2. Assess Project Fit Relative to Existing Applications/Infrastructures

3. Prioritize Projects

4. Review On-Going (Individual) Projects

5. Review and Reprioritize Projects in the Portfolio

6. Assess the Health of Application/Infrastructure Components

7. Assess the Health of Application/Infrastructure Components

Visionary Leadership

Risk Categories in Project Portfolio Management

Corporation risk: changes in business strategy or operational processes, project interdependencies or overlapping, problematic communication among stakeholders, management support, realistic expectations and proper planning, clear visions, objectives and scope definitions.

Financial risk: financial endorsement (loan, financial/leveraged lease), cash flows, liquidity, credits, payment periods, replacement/maintenance costs, cost of capital, inflation, external sources of funds, expected revenues.

Market risk: project outcome utility and acceptance, timing, results distribution, quality level, competitors.

Technology risk: available infrastructure and supplied materials, design/architecture suitability and feasibility, time consistency, implementation knowhow, competent staff or outsourcing, maintenance capability, statutory and regulatory obligations, technology obsoleteness or inadequacy.

These risk categories can be handled by:

Risk identification: the most common techniques used herein are: brainstorming, swot analysis, interviewing and experts committee (Delphi approach).

Evaluation of factors that affect the projects implementation and results. Best and worst scenarios are carried out in order for the range of potential outcomes to be determined.

Establishment of a plan of actions to be considered in every step of project cycle. These actions would mitigate negative responses and they would enhance fine performance.

Constant control, adjustments and reconsiderations during the project implementation cycle.

Planning avoids

Ø  Additional changeover and/or operation costs

Ø  Contractual disputes and associated resolution costs

Ø  Extension of time claims

Ø  Increased project costs or reduction in scope and/or quality

Ø  Loss of a facility or asset in the event of a total project failure

Ø  Loss of your client’s revenue

Ø  The loss of reputation of those involved in a project